


Rescue and Return (part 3)

by circlecross



Category: due South
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 18:27:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12090837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/circlecross/pseuds/circlecross
Summary: Part 3 of the story. Moving between past and present, making discoveries.





	Rescue and Return (part 3)

“Why did you leave? Really?” Ben felt his throat constrict as he asked a question that had tore at him inside for many years before he closed his heart to emotion. “My grandmother never would talk about it”. He had felt such a rage when his questions to her had gone unanswered.  
“Why did I leave? I didn’t leave, Ben. I was so happy. I loved being here. I was sent away. I was still a minor, so I didn’t have a choice, didn’t have a say”.  
“What do you mean, sent away?” Ben was imagining horrific scenarios now, and his protective hackles were rising.  
“I was sent away, Ben, to realise your grandmother’s dream. I don’t blame her. Now. At least she was interested in my potential. She sent me away to study. She applied for a scholarship for me. Rhodes College at Oxford. I had to do an early degree, which she enrolled me on, then the post-grad which she had secured a scholarship for. She sneakily made out I was from Canada, but she did it all, Ben, to give me a bright future. That’s what I’ve been doing, studying, and rescuing lost languages. Or at least reviving dying ones. And it’s another reason I’ve come back. I’m rescuing the Inuit Sign Language”.  
She went on to talk about her work with the revival of the Celtic languages, and the youngest of the Cornish revivalists, saving the generation of schoolchildren who began speaking it in the mid-80s under her guidance. With the publication of Price’s “Languages of Britain”, Martha’s application gained further credence, and her PhD began at an age when most of her peers were just embarking on fresher’s week. This had been isolating at first, but she was used to intellectual solitude. She had missed Ben terribly, and spent the first six months half-expecting to bump into him, wanting to share stories with him, seeing oddities that she knew he would find funny…but he wasn’t there to share anything with, and her grieving process had to gain closure so she could concentrate on study. She had occasional letters from Martha, with very little reference to Ben, but lots of encouragement to work hard and learn lots. Her own parents visited rarely, and seemed vaguely proud, but not involved with her. Ben, for his part had packed a tent and sleeping bag and stove and gone off by himself, determined to freeze to death, or something equally dramatic. He had been treated to a spectacularly beautiful display of the Northern lights, however, and wished he could have shared it with Alyssa. He vowed he would see them again with her, one day. He felt he understood a little of why his father wore the wilderness and lost himself to the high winds, missing Caroline, dreaming of her face in the light of the borealis. He wondered if it would be a salve for his own wounds; should he follow his father’s snowy footsteps and let the ice freeze his heart until Alyssa’s brightness could warm it again? He decided it would be as good as any career, out here in the wilderness, and he was used to his own company. Tears of bitter anger formed again. Ben had steeled his resolve, and decided to work hard, and forget Alyssa. For now. But one day, they would watch the aurora dance, together.  
***  
“So why have you come a-lookin fer me?” she drawled, smiling. She was busy igniting the ancient stove, winding the wick to dip it in the paraffin, and so had her back to him. She didn’t see his face shadow over, or his look of intense loss that darkened his eyes.  
“I wanted to see the Northern Lights with you again. It was something I had promised myself I would do”.  
Before.  
Before was left unsaid.  
She turned, finally triumphant, and retrieved the snipped pemmican from him.  
“So this IS a kind of…what’s-it-called…Bucket List?”  
He shook his head in incomprehension.  
“You know, things to do before you’re 50, things to see before you’re 75, places to visit before you die”.  
The silence pulled at them both.  
Benton extracted a folded letter from his inner pocket, and handed it to her.  
***  
Ben had enjoyed the winter months with her, that first year of her stay. He had been excited to share the change from Imperial to Metric with someone, as none of the other teens in the community found it nearly as interesting as he did. He tested himself on conversions, much to Alyssa’s amusement. She was content to quiz him, though, as it meant she got to see him smiling. She listened to him listing all the qualities of the recently opened CN Tower, and all its dimensions. There was also mounting excitement about the Queen’s Jubilee, among some of the older members of the community, and Alyssa found it unusual to be commemorating it in a foreign land. More importantly to the elders of the community was the appointment of an Inuk to Parliament. Ben understood that it was a significant shift in expectations, and tried to explain to Alyssa its importance. She didn’t really understand why the Inuk hadn’t had involvement in Parliament sooner, but contented herself to let him inform her, as he tried to tune their home-made mercury radio, tongue worrying at his crooked tooth, eyes squinting in concentration.  
She adored his developing beauty and symmetry. She sketched him as he reclined. As the days got warmer, he shucked layers of clothing and she marvelled at his defined, lean body. He was a willing model for her, and was pleased with her results, seeing a side of himself through her eyes. He found it strangely erotic to see her smudging chalks around his contours, which meant he often finished the modelling sessions lying on his front.  
For Alyssa’s part she found him intriguing. He was a specimen to study, a friend, a brother. She found him beautiful, but her self-esteem was fractured from parental abandonment, and it never occurred to her that she was a loveable being. She never entertained any notions that Ben WOULD be interested in her in any other way than fraternally. She loved his agile brain, and liked to tease him that he wasn’t as bright as she was, when in fact his interests and recall rivalled her own. She found his bodily warmth and the scent of him comforting. She sensed when he was close by, as she felt an immediate relaxation set in, and she began to feel, as the months went by, that she could be if not loveable, then at least likeable, thanks to his companionship.  
As the year turned, the wanderlust gripped Martha again, and so George and the two youths helped pack up the belongings into sleds for the journey to the landing co-ordinates. Ben enjoyed being trusted with the control of the sled, and laughed to hear Alyssa squealing as he drove it faster. The dogs were kennelled with a handler at the airstrip, and the little family was split up as George was to travel on later. Martha and the teenagers boarded the small plane, and books and belonging were packed around them. Alyssa could feel Ben’s breath against her neck, rustling her hair, as he curled awkwardly around her. Her terror of flying was lessened this time, in Ben’s safe embrace, and she drifted into sleep, surrounded by him.  
She awoke with a jolt, not remembering where she was, and Ben’s arms closed protectively around her. Her moment of terror passed, and she undug her nails from his arm. He gave her a squeeze, and muttered “are you ok?” into her hair. She nodded, snuggling back into him, enjoying the feeling of his proximity. Both were reluctant huggers, despite wanting to be held by someone who mattered, and so this cradle of Ben’s arms felt like the right place to be.  
“Good”, he mumbled, into her ear, and she wriggled as his lips grazed her skin.  
“That tickles”, she said, sleepily, as she drifted off again.  
Ben left his face where it was, daring to brush his lips against her neck, and inhale the familiar scent of her, until his grandmother turned and gave him a sharp look.  
They were allowed a comfort break at Iqaluit, then squeezed back in to a refuelled plane for a further trek to Pangnurtung. There had been an RCMP base at Pang for over 50 years, so Martha was hopeful that they could persuade Robert to station himself there at some point in the period over winter.  
The teens were pleased that there was a library for Martha to disappear to, and galleries to lose themselves in. Both attempted weaving and enjoyed learning to converse with a couple of weavers who were deaf. Alyssa had learned BSL when very young, to sign a show for her parents, so relished the challenge of a new sign language.  
It amused Alyssa to watch Ben become fascinated by the launch of the film Star Wars, coming slightly late to all the hype and excitement, and only picking up information via their radio, and some magazines that the library had. Martha would have disapproved of the radio usage, while being impressed by its construction. This saw a renewed interest in the night sky, trying to work out where the distant galaxy would be. Later in the year, when a satellite broke up over Canada, Ben was half convinced it was stray pieces of Alderan, and wanted to construct something that would make it out of earth’s orbit. This had led to an unfortunate incident on a field trip with George, in the aircraft, when Ben’s enthusiasm for acquiring some explosive gas, and his keenness to test air velocity, had led to a structure in Meadowbank Gold Mine being devastated. He regretted his boomerang practice instantly, and had spent the journey back in horrified silence.  
After Martha’s shouting had died down, Ben had run away. He was 16, full of hormones, and confusion. Alyssa had tracked him down into the mountains, and let him rage and sulk. Summer was nearly upon them, and the ice was breaking. People were itchy with the turn of the year and the hum of insects was starting on the edge of hearing. The lake she found him by was calm, however, reflecting the bright sky, if not his inner turmoil. Ben wanted to strip off and plunge into the icy waters, to rid himself of his crawling frustration.  
“Well why don’t you?” Alyssa replied.  
“What?”  
“Why don’t you? It might make you feel better”.  
Ben thought about the pros and cons. The main con would be that he would be naked in front of her. This, however, could also be a pro, his teenage mind supplied. He was uncomfortable and angry and his skin prickling and his head buzzing, so he leapt up, and started to strip off.  
Alyssa watched him as he shucked up his thick shirt and t-shirt. He goosebumped as the air was still fresh and chill. He kicked off his rigger boots, and dropped his trousers, peeling his socks off with the movement. He felt under scrutiny, standing there in his briefs, but it felt very liberating to feel the air on his skin.  
“Are you going in then?” she asked.  
Ben nodded. “Are you joining me?”  
She frowned, weighing up the situation herself. “Ye.e.e.e.es…..yes! Alright! Why not?!” and she stood, and started divesting layers too.  
Ben felt a mixture of horror and desire. He wanted to look, but his body was already revealing his interest.  
“Are we ready then?” She had her arms crossed over her breasts, feeling shy. Ben glanced at her, and grinned. He swiftly took down his briefs, and set off into the lake, shouting with alarm at how cold it was. She took her pants off and set off after him. It was still icy cold and painful, but it felt good to immerse their hot and frustrated bodies in the water. Ben dunked himself completely underneath, and emerged, hollering and shaking his head like a dog. Alyssa copied him, squealing with the cold.  
“I’ve got to get out!” she shrieked. “My feet are going numb!”  
Ben nodded, teeth chattering, and they picked their way out, numb feet stumbling.  
Alyssa was shivering violently, and Ben couldn’t help himself from coming over to her and putting his arms around her. He could feel her tense up immediately, through the shivers. She was not looking up at him, and crossed her arms again, elbows pushing him away. Ben turned and put his briefs back on, to make the situation less confrontational. He wrapped his shirt around her, and held her close as she shivered.  
He knew his body was obviously showing signs of arousal, but he couldn’t let go of her.  
“It isn’t my fault” she muttered into his chest.  
“What?”  
“It isn’t my fault”.  
“I’m not blaming you for anything. I said I wanted to go in”  
She was still pushing him away with her elbows. He was confused – aroused, but concerned. He hugged her into him. He was shivering himself, but was starting to be afraid of her reaction.  
“Are you ok?”  
She nodded mutely, so he slowly released her, and dressed swiftly, teeth chattering and hands shaking, as the chill sank into him. Once he was dressed, he helped Alyssa get dressed too, as she was trembling violently. Ben couldn’t tell if it were from the cold only, or from whatever had shocked her.  
They walked back to his tent in silence. Ben wanted to say so much, but didn’t know what he wanted to know or needed to ask.  
He crawled into the tent. Alyssa stayed outside. He poked his head back out. “Please come inside”.  
She shrugged, and crawled in after him. He held his arms open, and she leaned into his embrace. He rubbed her arms, and lay down, taking her rigid body with him. Still holding her, he wrestled the blanket over them both, and willed his body to pass some of its warmth to hers. He moved his legs against hers. “Are you warming up at all?”  
“My feet are cold”.  
“Here, sit up…take your boots off…and I will put your feet against my body. Skin to skin is the best…come on, I’ll help…”  
She smiled, for what seemed the first time in a hundred years to Ben, and sat up to unlace her boots. Ben faced her, and wrapped his legs around her, and put her cold feet up under his shirt. Her knees were pressed up to her chest and she rested her chin against them. He reached forward and stroked her cheek.  
“Alyssa, what’s wrong…what happened?”  
She shrugged. “I don’t know. It felt strange suddenly being naked with you. I don’t feel very comfortable being naked”.  
Ben felt guilty about the times he had spied on her and knew he should never have intruded on her privacy. He wanted to think he would never do it again, but realistically suspected it would be a difficult promise to keep.  
“I want you to feel comfortable with me”, he said, eventually. He wanted to say more, wanted to kiss her, undress her. He was dizzy with self-control, and afraid of doing the wrong thing. She still had her eyes cast down, but was still smiling. She leaned forward, between her legs, and hugged him awkwardly. Ben always marvelled at how bendy she seemed to be.  
“I do feel comfortable. I just don’t know what happened. I’m sorry”.  
He rubbed her feet, which were starting to warm up, and put her socks back on her. He stretched out and hugged her back in close to him. She didn’t resist, so, fully dressed, they snoozed in each other’s embrace.  
They awoke gradually, about an hour later. They had warmed up entirely and were hungry. But neither felt like moving.  
“Don’t run away again”, she said into his chest. “I would miss you. I don’t know what I would have done this last year if I hadn’t had you around”.  
Ben rested his chin on her head. “I feel the same. It is like we were supposed to find each other at just the right time. The time when we both needed the other piece of us”. He stopped, shy of revealing too much of his feelings, mainly because he wasn’t sure how much he was allowed to say. She was supposed to be treated like a sister, but he felt such a… love, there he had admitted it…a love for her, and a physical attraction, which was certainly not sisterly. They weren’t related, at least he was fairly sure they weren’t, so would it really be so wrong to have a relationship? But they lived together, and so it may be overwhelming and constant, and what if they fell out? And what if they didn’t? He couldn’t see Martha allowing them to share a room if they were sexually active. And she was underage. And sharing with a young man who desired her. All this was a precious secret he was guarding like an eggshell. He let out a groan of frustration, and Alyssa lifted her head to see what was wrong with him.  
He could just drop a kiss on her. He could just look down, and plant a kiss on her. Right there. He tilted his face down, and kissed her on the nose. She smiled and wrinkled her nose, so he did it again. He kissed her eyelids, and her forehead. She was still smiling, and had her eyes closed, so he kissed her cheek, then her jaw, then murmured his lips towards her mouth. He was hovering at the edge of her lips, the curl of her smile, wondering if he dared progress further.


End file.
